I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
