i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
there is glitter all over my balls
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