Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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