like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
