she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
