Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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