I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
