sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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