my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
