Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
