He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
