There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
