walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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