Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
