fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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