pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
