We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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