FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
