I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
