You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
