New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
