Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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