There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
