so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
