question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
