who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
