Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
