He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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