yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
