Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
this is an emotional support booty call
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
