I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
