do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
