There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
