it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
