It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
