I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
