carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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