I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
