i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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