I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
