he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
