Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
