One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Rumble strips road head = magical
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
