The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
