We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
