problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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