May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
