I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
