I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
