she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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