i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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