Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
