Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
