Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
